Andersianism

Andersianism is one of the smallest religions on Earth, but it is also one of the quickest growing and most promising new movements that have appeared the last millenia. Why don't you join the growing ranks of Andersianists too?

Andersianism is a simple, yet effective religion. Some may call it a low-budget religion, and they are right. Andersianism isn't flashy. We don't have dozens of gods, hundreds of saints, imponderable holy texts or rigid dogmas. Andersianism is practically free from religious arguments, has a refreshingly simple pantheon, no holy texts, practically no observances and a god with Net access! (and we are not talking about Kibo)

So, what is the teachings of Anders? Here they are, in all their simplicity:

Anders is God.

He might not be the only one, and he isn't jealous as certain other gods, so you may worship them too if you want. The only thing Anders demands is that you worship him too.

Anders may or may not be omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient.

Actually, Anders doesn't know for sure if the above is true, so its quite possible to doubt at least the omniscience bit. But remember the next part:

Anders has a large ego.

Maybe not of the size of the Usenet Oracle or Jack Sarfatti, but still quite impressive. He might get irritated if you ask stupid questions, demand miracles or question his authority.

Anders may not be all powerful, but he can help.

Blessings by Anders have helped people, and he has sometimes answered prayers (mainly using e-mail or phone). And he is much easier to reach than certain other gods.

Anders has a Messiah, whose name is Tommy.

Tommy started out as the first (and only) worshiper of Anders, and was promoted to Messiah. Now thats a success story! Tommy is very busy spreading the word of Anders, so he has to relax a bit once in a while, which makes him a bit harder to reach than Anders. On the other hand, he is much more knowledgeable about the effects of alcohol on mortal beings, which levels things out a bit.

Anders also has a single Saint, Saint Raisa the Hopeless.

Saint Raisa is a cat. Normally you have to be dead to be a saint, but cats have nine lives, so it probably works out somehow. Saint Raisa isn't good for very much, and will not answer prayers. In fact she is a perfectly normal cat, just very saintly.

Anders also have a whole host of related deities and demigods.

The Mother of God, the Brother of God, the Cousins of God and lots of others. Not to mention the related deities of the Messiah and the Saint, of course. And the self-appointed Opponent and the Anti-Anders. They have no real place in Andersianism, and would only confuse things, so we forget them now.

So, now you ask, what use is Andersianism? It doesn't promise an afterlife, it doesn't promise eternal bliss, it doesn't promise a caring and powerful god. In fact it doesn't promise anything! Thats why Andersianism is so reasonable! We don't promise anything we cannot keep! A blessing by Anders is a budget blessing which may or may not work! We don't promise that everything will become wonderful just because you worship Anders!

How often have people not stood looking into the sky after an answer which didn't come or waited for their prayers to come true without success? Despite that fact that thousands of (paid) wise men and women, scholars, monks and full time theologists have explained such things away as the inscrutable will of God/the Gods, they still happen with amazing regularity! Thats because other religions promise a lot of things they cannot keep. With Anders you know what you get!

So, how do you become an Andersianist?

Its quite easy. Just behave like one. There are no fixed rituals, no pilgrimages, no required reading or no initiations to become an Andersianist. Of course, if you really want some, invent them. One thing Anders can't stand is unimaginative followers.

OK, now I am an Andersianist, what do I do now?

Well, Anders do not require any special worship. Just a nice thought sometimes, maybe a small sacrifice or prayer. Of course, the more you worship Anders, the happier he will become (remember his ego?), so he might be more tempted to help you out (unless you become too irritating, of course). Anders blessings have in fact worked quite well in the past, at least for Tommy. So why not try it out you too?

In nomine Anders sanctus!

Related Subjects

No religion is complete without a schism or at least a few heresies, and Andersianism is no different. See the Presbyterian Andersianism page for a schismatic (and of course heretic) group who doesn't acknowledge the One True Anders, and the pagan asaists. Recently The Arcane Order of the Coming of the One True Anders has begun to spread anti-Andersianism.

There are also other aspirants to godhood out there, for example Gordon M. Baskin. See his My Quest for Godhood: Or, So you want to become a Supreme Being?

Anders Main Page
Anders Sandberg / nv91-asa@nada.kth.se